Same-Sex Domestic Violence Myths

AARDVARC

8 Same-Sex Domestic Violence Myths

1. Only straight women get battered. Men are not victims of domestic violence, and women never batter.

2. Domestic violence is more common in straight relationships than it is in same-sex relationship

3. It really isn't violence when a same-sex couple fights. It's just a lover's quarrel, a fair fight between equals.

4. It isn't violence when gay men fight. It's boys being boys. A man should be able to defend himself.

5. The batterer is always bigger, stronger, more "butch", etc. Victims will always be smaller, weaker, more feminine.

6. Lesbian and gay domestic violence is sexual behavior, a version of S & M. The victim actually likes it.

7. The law does not and will not protect victims of same sex domestic violence.

8. It is easier for lesbian or gay victims to leave the abusive relationship than it is for heterosexual battered women who are married.

The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women.

Illinois Law

Illinois Domestic Violence Act

Under Illinois law, family or household members are defined as:

-Those related by blood

-People married or used to be married

-Anyone who share or used to share a home, apartment, or other common dwelling

-People who have or allegedly have a child in common or a blood relationship through a child in common

-Those who are dating, engaged, or used to date, including same sex couples

-People with disabilities and their personal assistants

Order of Protection

Illinois Attorney General


Ways you can obtain an order of protection:
-Ask your attorney to file in civil court
-Request an order with your divorce
-Request an order during a criminal trial for abuse
-Go to your local circuit court clerk's office
-Contact a local domestic violence program to ask for assistance in completing the forms

Law enforcement prevention of further abuse:
-Arresting abuser when appropriate and completing a police report
-Driving or arranging transportation for you to a medical facility, shelter, or safe place
-Taking you home to get belongings
-Taking weapons if probable cause
-Explaining the importance of saving evidence such as damaged clothing or property and taking photographs of injuries or damage

Violation of an Order of Protection:
-1st Offense: Class A misdemeanor - abuser could go to jail up to 1 year and pay a $25 fine
-2nd Offense: Can be a felony, courts must sentence abuser to 24 hours jail time and $100 fine

The Date Safe Project

The Date Safe Project, Inc. provides students, parents, schools, community organizations, and governments with educational materials and programming which cover topics related to healthy intimacy, sexual education, sexual assault awareness, bystander intervention, and support for sexual assault survivors.